Struggled Through Work, Once Again...

I managed to struggle through another day of work today and I have another one tomorrow. Then, after work I get to come home, get changed and then get picked up by Kevin to go to a barbeque at Alayna and Igor's house (my bosses). I'm not really looking forward to it, mostly just because I don't know people all that well and I don't think it's just going to be the staff. I think that their friends are going to be there too and I dunno if I'll really have anyone to talk to.

So ya, I work the next two days as well, my sales haven't been very high even though the guys have been totally kicking ass. It seems as though the big sales just keep finding their way straight to them. Like someone will walk in the door and go straight to Aaryn and be like "I want that $900 ring" or something, it's crazy. I thought that all of the newly available hours were going to be going to Dave, the guy that used to work there and is coming back, but I actually got quite a few of them. I'm scheduled for 30 hours next week which should be interesting. It's means a lot of money, just not much free time. I really hope that my sale start to pick up and I'm trying so hard to be happy when I'm at work and to smile lots but sometimes it's just hard. I'm so sick of the creepy guys going *stares at chest* "oh, your name's Janelle hey? That's a really cool name...how you doing?" Grr it's so frustrating, I don't want these creepy guys to know my name, why do I have to wear a name tag, it's not like I'm going to get confused with another sales person, there's only 6, well now 7 people that work there and there's only 2 girls.

In other news, I have a meeting on tuesday morning with a course councilor at Sprott Shaw to find out more information about the course that I want to take. I'll get to find out how much it costs, different payment options, when it starts and ends blah blah blah. There's no highschool or college prerequisites, but I do have to pass a physical saying that I'm physically capable to give massages and stuff...I hope that my wrists are strong enough, I may need to find out about some exercises that I can do to strengthen them or something.

Megan and Shayna and Ian, Tylor, Chris, Amber and everyone are all at prom right now and I didn't get to see them all dressed up and stuff because I was too busy having to work...grr stupid work. I'm not too happy with having a job at the moment if you haven't noticed, well atleast having this one. I should probably go though, I'll talk to ya'll later. Byes.

Is There A Purpose?

I dropped tonight. In every sense of the word. I was so busy getting everything ready for Monte Carlo Night, going to work, doing stuff at home...and then once it was over, I crashed. I was so freaking stressed out and had so many responsibilities placed on my shoulders that I crashed. Luckily it wasn't until Monte Carlo Night was over, but it still happened. I couldn't help but lay on the couch and hide my tears. Not only was I exausted, I hadn't eaten since 11am and this was at 10pm I might add, wearing my prom dress again reminded me of a lot of things and I just overall didn't have a great time. It didn't help that Alex and Chelsea showed up...completely ignored me, Alex said all of 7 words to me and that was "Can't talk, going to watch the OC" as they walked out the door. That was lovely. While I was laying on the couch Jason came over to talk to me and I just wanted to be left alone.

On an upside...I stole Steven's pimpin' hat for a few minutes but he had to steal it back cause he had to go. Hmm what else...I dunno. Some of it was fun, some of it just really sucked. The girls getting sick and puking from Alastair getting them to eat weird things to get more fake money definately sucked. We had two 15 year old girls sick to their stomaches and had to try and help them feel better. One couple that was there broke up yesterday so one of my duties for the night was to make sure that the girl had a good time and talk to her a lot. I didn't mind that because she's really nice and I get along with her well but it was just another thing added to my list of things on my mind.

I got up this morning at 7 only to go decorate the portable with Terry and Alastair at 9, then I got home at 10...Crysta did my hair, I got ready for work and left. I worked all day with Igor, Kevin and Aaryn which wasn't too bad I guess, but it wasn't great. Alastair came and dropped some stuff off with me for tonight and I was really worried that I was going to get in trouble or something. My sales haven't been great for the past two days and I just can't get into it at all. My dad picked me up and I had to wait for him to buy coffee, then go straight home and get changed into my prom dress in time for Becca to pick me up. Alastair forgot the get the fake money so it was up to Becca and I to get that. I got dropped off at the portable where I entertained 3 of the girls while not having a clue when everyone else was going to get there.

All this stress and for what? I don't even know right now. Maybe I'm just tired, maybe I'm just bitchy. Who knows but right now I feel as though not much in my life has a whole lot of purpose. I think I'm going to go to bed because I'm exausted and half of this is probably all spelt wrong due to that. I also feel as though I'm spinning and have a killer headache. Woot. I'll talk to you guys later or something. Bye.

I Can't Smile 24/7!!!!!

It was back to work today, and it was weird after having four days off. It was really hard to get back into the swing of things and it didn't help that I had a bad day. They're hiring this guy back that used to work there and Rob is going to be working very little for the next while because he's gotten a second job and they desperately need him, so....when Rob told Alayna that he's probably going to need next week off she said that it would be ok, that Dave's coming back and she'll just give him all of Rob's hours. Rob was full time. Does that seem fair? I don't know if I want many more hours than I have, maybe a few would be nice...but I don't think I'm going to get the option. It seems like this guy's just going to come right back and start off where he left off, no bottom of the seniority list no nothing. Basically, even though they're hiring someone else, I'm still going to be the newby and get stuck with all of the shitty jobs. I hate being harrassed if I stop smiling for like two minutes...it's so annoying. None of them smile 24/7 so why should I have to? Urgh I'm going crazy. I'm just so frustrated. I actually wanted to quit today. If I didn't need this job so badly I probably would have. My mom said that I could always start looking and applying again and try to find something else and I think I just might. Only problem is that I dunno if I could use this job on my resume if I'm still in my 3 month probation period. Does anyone know?

Hmm hopefully tomorrow goes better...it's me, Igor, Kevin and Aaryn so aslong as they're in good moods I should be able to aswell. Who knows, I'm probably majorly pmsing or something.

You all must listen to Scars by Papa Roach

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut. My weakness is that I care too much. My scars reminds me that the past is real. I tear my heart open, just to feel!

Oh man, such a good song...anyways, as for tonight...I called Phil and 2 of the girls from YL to see if they are coming to Monte Carlo Night and it all seemed to go farely well. Phil was a little strange as usual, and I'm pretty sure that both girls will be coming. I then finished up the stupid Roulette Wheel and got on to decorating the vases for the fake roses and such. I should probably go though since Terry's picking me up just before 9 to go decorate, then I have to come home and get my hair done, then go to work and then go to Monte Carlo Night...I'll talk to you guys later, bye bye.

Three Awesome Days Topped Off By The Same Old Lecture

Ok so yes Tasha, it was THREE very awesome days in a row. Yesterday, I was out doing stuff with Andrea, picking up stuff for Monte Carlo night, shopping etc. Then we got home and Tasha had called so we got ahold of her at Phil's and made plans to go to Parksville. Me, Andrea, Crysta, Tasha and Phil went the Paradise Mini Golf where we played a round of golf that involved muchum cheating mwhaha it was great, and then we went Bumper Boatin' which was sooo awesome. We got to shoot eachother with water guns and get completely soking wet! Crysta's friend Eric was working so we got extra time which was sweet. From there, we went to the parking lot where we proceeded to change our clothing and head to McDonalds for some food. We got a lot of those little cookies that are shaped like Ronald, Birdie, The Hamburler and Grimis....there were some incidents...Birdie got gang banged by the Frie Guys and there was a few orgies on Tasha's side of the table but other than that all went well. We then headed on to the beach where we played on the playground, I ran into Lisa Morgan which was less than interesting...then Andrea went and talked to some random drunk guys on the beach just to see if they were hot and they tried to get her to get me to go back over there with her. Needless to say, that didn't happen. Tasha got kinda sick and we all headed home. Man that was a good night.

Today was also good, not quite but I'll still explain. This morning I went to Wellington with Andrea to do some contact work after helping to clean up my house and such. We ran into Alastair as we were leaving so we chatted for a bit and then headed to Shoppers to get some shampoo. I came home and helped clean some more, do some laundry and help Crysta to clean the pool room. Then at about 3, Andrea and I left for Wellington again, this time to pick up her sister and Caley to go to Value Village. We looked at dresses, hoping to find something that Andrea could wear to Monte Carlo night but we didn't have much luck. I bought one t-shirt and I think Andrea got a shirt too. We dropped Caley off and came back here, then Andrea went home for dinner and I worked on the roulette wheel some more. After dinner we headed out to our leader's meeting where Alastair told us hillarious storied of his Young Life past and we finally made some definate plans for Monte Carlo Night. Jason quit his job, so he was there which I wasn't expecting and it was kinda awkward since we didn't really leave off on the best note the other day at the mall. Steven wasn't there, why? I'm not too sure. Other than that, all was good.

I got home from the meeting only to walk into being lectured by my mom about how I'm not pulling my weight with laundry and how I have so much attitude and how I think I'm better than them when really I'm not and blah blah blah. Then she got mad and said she was talking to a brick wall and finally stopped repeating the same thing over again. I'm so sick of it...it's really not fair. I'm expected to do just as much, if not more than my sister around the house even though I spend most of my time working and she's at home 24/7. My mom doesn't understand how much YL means to me and that it's really high on my priority list. She thinks it's stupid, yet I spent about 1/3 of the time on YL that she does on the SPCA and it stresses me out way less. She's always stressed about SPCA stuff and freaking out about something, it's horrible, yet YL is getting in the way of my life in her eyes. Urgh! I can't spent so much time at work just to come home and have to clean and work my ass off here non stop too. Why do people expect so much out of me...why can't I just live my own life. Maybe if I were to pay them an actual rent I could just live as like a tenant or something...I doubt it.

Anyways...I should probably go to bed since I have to work tomorrow and I'm exausted. I can't even think. I'm so mad and frustrated and tired that the thoughts are just spinning around in my mind. I'll talk to all of you later, bye.

Fun Was Had By All

The past two days have pretty much...well....completely rocked! Yes, I must admit, they had their bad moments but they were evened out by excessive amounts of fun. Now..for my explaination!

Yesterday began with helping my mom out with cleaning up our backyard and such...and then Crysta, Jason and I headed over to Terry's to go mini golfing, but he failed to appear. We discovered, after waiting in his driveway for about half an hour that he had gone to a movie with his father. I, in an attempt to pass the time, drew on Alastair's driveway with his daughter's sidewalk chalk. I wrote "Janelle was here + Terry was not" and found out tonight that he got my message mwhaha. Anyways...after that we headed to MGM, ate a bit of food, waited for Andrea to get off work, people showed up and that wasn't very happy but then we left and went and played on the playground at swyalana. Jason got kinda mad and then he went home and we went driving. We just drove around for like an hour, then stopped at MTM and got ice cream from Megan just as she was closing. We saw hot guys, tried to fallow them but Andrea made a wrong turn...then we went home.

Today, I woke up...called Andrea to make sure that she was up and then her, her sister and I headed to Church where we ran into Jason and listened to Hocus Pick, a pretty awesome Christian band. After Church was over, Phil came over to us to see if we knew where Tasha was because she was supposed to go to church with him and never showed up. We didn't know..and then he left. Then we went and walked around the mall, had some lunch....lost Jason and Chelsea in Shoppers Drug Mart...continued walking around the mall looking for them with no luck. Finally found Jason at about 2pm and he was really mad at him for "ditching" him...even though we didn't mean to. After that, we went our seperate ways, Jason went home, Andrea and I went to Tasha's and woke her up. Then we came home and Tasha came over a while later.

Tasha and I went back to the mall where we saw Meagan and Trevor and I got to give Meagan her B-Day present, even though Andrea wasn't there...she said that Andrea told her it was fine so I hope that Andrea's not mad. The mall was closing soon and Tasha and I were dying from heat exaustion so we came back home and had dinner. After dinner we headed to Full Circle where we sang some pretty awesome songs, saw Nathan and Denis and talked to Alastair for a few minutes. I bought a couple copies of the All Nighter DVD and I'm so stoked about watching it!

After Full Circle, we came and picked up my sister and went to Swyalana where we met up with Chelsea, Alex and Phil....yup that's right....Tash had called Alex and said that they should come if they wanted to and they actually did....as did Phil who got Andrew to drop him off there. We all played on the playground for quite a while, walked around and then Crysta and Tasha played in the ocean. Phil tried to throw the logs in the water with little luck....they found a millapead or something, it was really creepy and nasty so Chelsea too a picture of it lol. Then, out of no where appeared Nathan and Denis once again and I accused them of stalking us lol They said that we were stalking them, but we were there first. They then proceeded to try and help throw logs in the ocean...and tell me how they wanted to go to MGM and spray paint Andrea's car hahah I told them that they should go and visit her that she was working late and might like the company. Once they left we went and played on the grass, well...I layed there and looked at the stars while Crysta and Tasha threw themselves down the hills, ran around in circles, fell down and got shoes thrown at them by Phil. Chelsea took lots of funny pictures and fun was had by all.

Chelsea and Alex had to go home so the four of us decided to go on a hunt for ice cream....we ended up at Boston Pizza where we got bread sticks, wings and Rolo Ice Cream Cake. MMMM MMMM good! Anyways...once Tasha's mouth was numb we all headed home and here I am now...sitting on my computer tiring my wrists typing this. I shall now head off to bed and talk to all yall tomorrow. Bye!

All Work And No Play...

So yes, my last entry got cut off a little bit by my lack of attention and tiredness. I thought that I'd update and let everyone know that really nothing is new. I've been working a lot...not really seeing much of anyone...I've seen Andrea a little bit, mostly for contact work..or doing errands, haven't really hungout. I've seen Tasha in little blurps, mostly when I'm working and we keep making plans or whatever but they don't end up working out. I haven't seen Megan in forever....it's Meagan M's birthday today and I won't get to see her either. I was hoping to go give her her present this morning but that didn't work out. She says she may come into town next weekend but I have to work anyways. I keep trying to get people together to hangout, like Terry and Jason and people but something always happens and I end up sitting at home. Lastnight, we were all supposed to hangout but Terry had to go to Kim's art show, I ended up going down to my room and putting Everything by Lifehouse on. I layed on my bed with my eyes closed, singing along and I just started crying. I couldn't help it. I don't know what's with me...I just feel so distant and lost. I want so badly to go to Full Circle so that I can atleast feel connected to something, most of you won't understand what I mean, but atleast Andrea or Tasha should...anyways...

Work's been kinda boring, the past two days I worked with all 3 of my bosses and no one else...umm what else...it's been nice out and the only time I've been able to spend outside has been this morning cleaning my backyard and powerwashing my sundeck. Isn't that sad? Well since I once again keep zoning out, I'll write more later or something. Bye

Oh man...

To start off this blog, I will say that....my staff meeting was....well...interesting lol I think I've probably told all of you about it already anyways so there's not much point in recapping. Anyways...

My Mixer went really well tonight, well atleast I think it did...people seemed to have fun which is good. I got to enjoy seeing the guys sing songs such as "Stop" by the Spice Girls and "Barbie Girl" by Aqua. I also enjoyed the "Never Had A Dream Come True" by S Club 7, that was pretty original. The rest of club went pretty well too, Terry's talk was really good, I really enjoy hearing him speak. I really hope that he stays at YL a while longer, I'd miss him too much.

I'm trying to get some people together to do something really fun tomorrow night, like Cyber City or a movie or something, so far it's me telling Terry that we're doing something lol I'm sure I'll find more willing people. Hopefully some of the female race. And yes, I do mean race, not gender...

Oh man...I totally forgot that I was writing this...I've gotten a really bad headache and am almost in tears because of it. I'm going to bed, I'll update later on anything I forgot. bye.

My Very First Staff Meeting...What To Expect?

Hmm so ya, I worked yesterday...it was really dead for almost all of the day but I still did alright in the sales department I guess. I had top sales for most of the day and I was there for the least amount of time. I work again today, another 5 hours shift, I like those lol I have a staff meeting afterwords and it's my first staff meeting ever...I don't exactly know what to expect, I don't even know how long it is or how I'm getting home lol

I had such a bad night's sleep lastnight...I kept waking up with a super sore throat and then I woke up at 4:45 to Crysta pulling one of my blankets off of me because her dog peed on her bed. That part to me is funny because she refuses to take her out before she goes to bed, but those are my blankets...I like them and I like having them all on me. So, after that I was a bit cold and still not feeling well. I went back to sleep and then woke up to my phone ringing at like 7:30 this morning. I have no clue who it was...I went back to sleep only to wake up again two hours later to it ringing again. I finally dragged myself out of bed a few minutes ago at about 10, to find that my mom is still in bed. I'm guessing that she was already up at one point but that she went back to bed, why...I dunno. It's not really like her but she's been kinda down lately.

As for my schedule this week, I work again tomorrow...go to YL tomorrow night, which reminds me that I still have to organize a mixer. Then I work again on friday...possibly going to Value Village with people on Saturday to help them find dresses for Monte Carlo Night. Then on Sunday, church in the morning, making a roulette wheel with Andrea after that...possibly hanging out with Meagan and Sam if they definately come up from Duncan and then going to Full Circle in the evening. Tasha, let me know if you wanna go with me...

Oh I like this song! "Wild thing....I think I love you, but I wanna knoooww for sure!"

Anyways, I must depart because I have to do some cleaning, get my shower and then get ready for work. Talk to y'all later. Bye dudes.

Day Off Of Doom

Well I worked again yesterday...big surprise there..it was kinda boring, nothing really exciting happened I guess. Then I came home from work and I went over to Andrea's to see the construction that they're doing on the upstairs of her house. We ended up just chilling and talking about guys and such for a while, then we went and visited Tasha at work for a few minutes and grabbed some Mr. Misty's from DQ. Andy's step dad called and asked us to pick him up some McD's so we went over there and got his food. We listened to some extremely awesome music while doing all of this, I might add. We got back, I came back home, watched Revelations with my dad and it was a crazy show...it was so cool yet creepy and weird at the same time. I'm looking forward to the next episode. It's weird how the show's supposed to be during current times...but it's like a modernization of different stories from the bible. There's also different quotes from the bible that come up and then later on in the show something happens that coinsides with the quote. It's so crazy, you should all watch it sometime.

After the show was over I went to bed and then I woke up this morning to slamming doors because my mom was mad that everyone else had slept in and weren't helping her clean....so I got up, helped clean...continued to help clean...before I knew it it was 4:00pm and I still had not done anything fun on my day off. I ended up not hanging out with Andrea like I was going to and I still haven't been able to make any plans for tonight. This may very well be a complete waste of a day off for me. I work again tomorrow, wednesday, thursday and friday, I luckily have the weekend off however so if any of you wanna do something let me know. Well I should go cause I'm making dinner and I don't wanna kill my lasagna. I'll ttyl bye bye

I Got Stamped

I've been working a lot...that kinda covers that lol I haven't done a whole lot really...I hungout with Tasha lastnight for the first time in a long time which was awesome. We went to the mall and did a little bit of shopping, then we put gas in her car and went to MGM to see if Andrea was still working but she wasn't so we went to McDonalds. Then we came home and watch Grind, it has Adam Brody in it...need I say more? Haha I loved it...Tasha not so much. Come on...any movie that uses the word "Superduper!" is great...and the dancing...oh man the dancing lol I watched that scene by itself a few minutes ago.

Hmm what else is knew....my horrible "crushes" that need to remove themselves from my life lol one is too old...the other too unavailable....man I know how to choose em! Haha so many stories that I'm not going to tell because you'll all think I'm a retard...well you do anyways but that's not the point. Annnyyyywayyys....lol Hmm so ya...lalalala I can't think of anything else to talk about so I guess that I should just stop typing...I'll fill you guys in when something more exciting happens.

ps. I got stamped today...

Take A Good Look At Me Now...

Bad Day...that about covers that....I spent about an hour this evening sitting alone, on a cold, wet playground crying. I couldn't take the tension and anger in my house and I left. I walked out and headed up the street. I found the playground that had been there for me through my entire childhood and decided to pay it another visit. There was a group of teenagers either smoking cigarettes or pot up against a wall and it really hit me how life has changed...how we've all grown up. These teens were about 3 years younger than me...and it made me think so much. I sat on the swing and I cried. I held my cell wondering what I should do, who I should call and I decided to just swing. I swang for a while and I prayed and I wondered why everything has become the way it is today.

I picked up my phone and I tried to call Alex but his brother said that he was outside so I tried back about 10 minutes later and still nothing. A few minutes later I made the biggest mistake of the entire night, I picked up my phone and I dialed a number that I haven't dialed in a long time. Andrew's cell. He picked up and I told him who it was. The tone of his voice was as though he couldn't believe it and I had to repeate myself. As soon as I finished saying my name for the second time Krista started freaking out in the background...my heart sank as the words "I don't want to talk to you" came out of his mouth and transferred to my ear. He said he couldn't and then hungup. I burst into tears and then began to swing as high as I possibly could just to get the words out of my head.

The effects didn't last very long but it helped ease the pain a while. I tried Alex again and his bro still refused to get him from outside so I gave up. I called Andrea and asked her to come and sit with me and talk. I felt really guilty asking her to do this...why? I know I shouldn't feel guilty for asking a friend to be there for me but I did and a big part of me still does. I feel as though I've lost everyone. Everyone that I've cared about has pushed themselves away.

Andrea dropped me off and my mom told me to talk to her as she stared at the tv screen. I sat and watched some tv and then made my way to the computer. Alex replied to the email that I sent him about 2 weeks ago and it seems as though our friendship may be completely written off. My heart's been wripped into so many pieces today and I don't know what to do. While reading his email I was also talking to Terry about how he feels out of place at YL and I really wish he didn't. I think that he's an amazing leader and club wouldn't be the same at all without him. After Terry left the computer, Megan came on and began explaining her night...her store got robbed tonight while she was working and she is understandable freaked out, I know I would be.

What is going on with people....has everyone lost their minds completely? Does noone care about anyone else anymore? Has every person in the world become inconsiderate, selfish and miserable? I'm beginning to think so. Well until tomorrow, Goodbye and I leave you with these lyrics that explain everything.

Against All Odds - Phil Collins

How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh
You're the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me,
when all I can do is watch you leave
Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Ooh take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds and that's what I've got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around,
turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
so many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Now take a look at me now, cos there's just an empty space

But to wait for you, is all I can do and that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now, cos I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
It's the chance I've gotta take

Take a look at me now

Nothing New

Hmm so what's new...not a whole heck of a lot really. I'm kinda bored and tired at the moment, I had a nap all afternoon and I still feel beat. I was wanting to go to YL Floor Hockey this evening but I have no way to get there, my dad won't be home for a while yet and Andrea's not going. I'll probably just hangout here and watch some tv or something. American Idol's on tonight so I can watch someone's dreams be ruined. I meant to call Tasha this afternoon before she left for work but I ended up falling asleep instead, I feel kinda bad about that since I still haven't had a chance to talk to her since I found out where the heck she's been lately. Well there's YL tomorrow night and I actually have tomorrow off so I don't have to rush straight from work which is nice. Monte Carlo night is coming up in 3 weeks which is awesome and is going to be so much fun. Hmm well I should go, talk to all of you guys later. Bye bye lots of love from me to you.

I Just Don't Know What It Is...

Well I haven't updated in a while because my computer has been extremely retarded and I haven't been feeling too great. I got my wisdom teeth out on Wednesday, it's now Monday and they still hurt, but I have to suffer and go to work tomorrow anyways. I haven't been able to eat a whole lot really, mostly pudding and other non-solid foods like ice cream and Sorbet. My mom's making a roast beef dinner tonight so hopefully I'll be able to eat some of it and regain some of my strenght. The only friend that I've seen through all of this has been Andrea and I haven't seen her very much but atleast she's called to see how I'm doing. Shayna has also been really awesome and has asked how I'm doing. I talked to Megan lastnight for the first time in a while but she's been pretty preoccupied with all of her family being over for the weekend. Tasha on the other hand...still has not returned my emails or my calls and is still failing to answer the phone whenever I call. It's wonderful...I don't know if she's mad at me and I've spent the past week trying to figure out if I did something that could have caused her to not want to talk to me.

I've been having really strange dreams at night and I was blaming them on the T3's but I fell asleep on my couch this afternoon and had another one yet I haven't taken any T3's today. I dunno what it is...but they all involve the same people and basically have the same theme except that minor things are different, things like the setting and atmosphere. For the most part they all revolve around how much I miss a certain someone that hasn't been in my life for about a month or so now and I can't even figure out why I miss them. In one dream, I run into him in the mall, another we're sitting outside of a church talking, in another one I call him because my parents are in an accident and I need someone to stay with me, another we're at prom. I just don't get it...can someone please make them stop. Why do I miss him and why can't I stop missing him. Have I completely lost him forever? Is it my fault...*sigh* I just don't know what to do.

In other news...my friends are dumb. No offense guys but not many of my friends have been making the greatest decisions lately and yes Andrea, this IS for the most part directed towards you and you know why lol. What is it with people and not considering the consequenses before they act? Am I just too cautious or are people just driven to try and rebel lately? Hmm so many questions and so few answers.

My sister gets back from Victoria tomorrow morning...woot, my quietness ends lol Atleast I won't be home for the transition stage. I also have a leader's meeting tomorrow night after I get home from work so I really won't be home much. Well there's not really anything else to talk about, so I'm going to stop typing before I completely wear out my wrist. I'll ttyl bye bye everyone.

Today's The Day

That's right...today is the day. I get my wisdom teeth removed at 2:45 this afternoon and I'm not allowed to eat until then so I'll probably do a lot of sleeping today. I just woke up and I feel completely exausted. My entire body feels so weak that I don't even feel as though I'd be capable of walking even though I know I am. Ever had that feeling?

As for the friends situation, things are still really weird and I know that the conflict is bothering some people but I don't know what to do. I kinda like the way things are right now...they're calm and I actually have time to just relax and chill. Things are good with my family, I hangout with friends when I feel like it...mostly with Andrea which is always fun. Tasha's been..I dunno where and Megan's really busy but I understand. Shayna and I need to start hanging out sometime but I'm still not telling her where I work :P.

I'm missing my first staff meeting tonight because of my stupid teeth, it makes me really sad cause I know the meeting would be a lot of fun. They're getting pizza and with the people that I work with, I doubt that much really gets accomplished. We're not going to get into the topic of the people that I work with though lol ugh Andrea, help me hahaha.

Anyways...I went over to Caley's lastnight with her, Andrea and Hendsbee which was fun, we played games and stuff. I missed American Idol however, which made me very sad. I came home at about 9 and then watched tv with my family. Well that's about all for today, I must depart..I'll ttyl bye bye.

*blank stare*

I'm at the point where I don't even want to talk to my friends anymore.

They're either being total ass holes, doing completely stupid shit or they don't give a shit about anything but themselves.

Right now I have about 5 people that I'd consider friends. 2 of these people live in Duncan, one I haven't seen in about two weeks because they're either working or hanging out with unnamed person that I don't want to be around. Another is busy with school and work and other friends and doesn't live close enough to just pop in or anything and the other lives extremely close, yet I feel like they're millions of miles away 3/4 of the time.

It seems as though SOMETHING is always more important than friendship. I've sat here playing Nintendo all day. I've been trying to get ahold of Tasha for about an hour now, without any luck. I get ahold of Andrea and she's just trying to have a nap because she spent the entire night awake, in Sooke...which is another thing that's bothering me. Yes, I understand that people want to see Wes, but do they not realize that he's REALLY never going to come to Nanaimo to visit if he knows damn well that if he waits long enough everyone will just give in and go there instead? Come on now...why would he put out the money to bus up here, if he can just wait a couple weeks and everyone else will waste their gas money to go there.

My three days off. Friday was spent going to the doctors with Andrea so that I could finally get the last of my blood tests which happened to be for HIV, Hep C and something else I don't even know. We then went to Burger King and then picked up her sis and Natalie. Drove Natalie home...drove Chelsea to her grandparent's in Errington, I got dropped off, Andrea went to get Caley and go to work. I spent the evening at the SPCA helping set up for today's garage sale, I froze my ass off so I ended up sitting in my truck for a while. I called Tasha on my cell and she told me to call her after 1 so that we could do something today. As I stated previously, I still haven't managed to get ahold of her and now it seems as though her cell phone is turned off.

Today...sat in my PJ's, talked to Meagan for a while...found out that she came into town yesterday and I didn't get to see her...she went to MGM for dinner and ran into Alex, Chelsea and Jesslyn....Caley and Andrea were both working so they all hungout. I hungup from Meagan, continued playing some more Nintendo....began attempting to phone Tasha, gave up...called Andrea...found out about their night lastnight....and now I'm sitting here. Woot this is fun.

Tomorrow morning I'll probably be going to my grandparent's...I want to go to church but I need to talk to my cousin about Rockridge...and I don't think there'd be another chance for a while.

I really hope that these blood test results come back soon and that maybe they provide some answers and if not, that my doctor can figure out what's going on. I go to get my wisdom teeth removed on Wednesday...may or may not go to YL on thursday, depends on how much pain I'm in. Well I should probably go, maybe I'll have a nap or something. bye.

A Mixture Of Madness! (The Crazy Kinda, Not The Angry Kind)

Well it's been a little while since I last updated, not too much excitingness has happened. I've been working...not working...going to YL related things and hanging out with my family and such. I went to the movies with Andrea, Terry and Jason on tuesday night after our leaders meeting, that was pretty fun. That same night, before we left Andrea decided to tell her parents about wanting to go to Australia and they had a complete fit and ended up lecturing us for an hour about how it's the worst decision we could ever make and how it would completely ruin our lives forever....

Lastnight was YL club and it went awesomely, it was hillarious and tonnes of fun. McDonalds after words was....interesting....but we're not going to get into that. After McDonalds we all drove everyone home and then the leaders, with the addition of Caley and Jesslyn all went to Boston Pizza for dessert and such. It was definately amusing, would have been more so if they'd actually ordered the pitcher of beer rather than just talking about it. Kim decided that she wants to be come a cannible lol I don't even remember where that came from...there was many debates about christianity and the biology behind a person getting pregnant...Steven had to draw Caley and Andrea a diagram to help them understand lol. Just as we were leaving, Hayley (another leader who's always "too busy" to go to club or anything) showed up on a date with mine, Andrea and Caley's dream guy...that made us pretty bitter. For any of you who don't know who I'm talking about, he's the really freaking sexy drummer from Full Circle and Church. Man I love that guy.

Well that's about all folks, I dunno what I'm doing today but I may update with more details later on. Bye bye!