Work...work..and more work...

That's all I seem to do anymore! I dunno, I'm either working, or doing something YL related. Today's friday which means I'm really tired. I just woke up from a 5 hour long nap and I still feel as though I could go to bed and not wake up till morning. Crazy huh? On Monday we get to wear our PJ's to work cause we're having Theme Day and our Theme is the Morning People Slumber Party. It's going to be good. Johnny said he'd bring brownies so he better. We're all bringing tonnes of stuff and we're going to dress our co-facilitator up like a woman. It will be grand..he doesn't know this yet though because he didn't show up for work today! Apparently he was too busy moving in with his GF. Anyways...looks like Krista and I are doing the TimeWarp at the beginning of the week with people from the other class lol. Scott tried to get me to demonstrate today cause I'm the only one who apparently knows the dance...but I demonstrated while sitting in my chair rather than infront of the class. Sarah also decided to tell EVERYONE that I like to TimeWarp when I'm drunk lol big mistake telling her that one, but they laughed so it's ok.

YL...oh Young Life...it's been crazy. That's all I can say. Lastnight...slightly unexpected guest that I didn't enjoy too much but that's ok. I had a good time but left in a bad mood. Mostly because of tiredness...partially due to said guest and things on my mind.

I really need to get out and just have a good time with some friends...enjoy life. But, as usual..I'm broke! You need money for everything and I don't get payed for another week. Grr. But, when I get payed..oh will it be nice. Not quite as nice as the next paycheck though...I have to work Rememberance Day so I get $22.50 an hour for those 8 hours. Good times, good times lol. I wanna all go to the movies...or something fun. I feel like I don't see anyone anymore. I really wanna start spending more time with the other YL leaders because we get along soooo well and always have such a good time. Especially the four of us. Even just sitting and talking it fun because we always find something to talk about.

Anyways...I'm going to go dispose of the evidence that I ate Crysta's pizza pockets lol Call me if anyone wants to do something. Buh bye

Lost In Song

I see the city lights all around me...every one's obscure. Ten million people, each with their problems. Why should anyone care? And in eyes I can see...I'm not just a man, that's been lost in this world...lost in a sea of faces. Your body's the bread, your blood is the wine because you traded your life for mine.

Sea of Faces - Kutless....an absolutely amazing song if I haven't already told you that. Right now I'm blasting it as loud as my computer will go, I just finished listening to These Walls by Trapt repeatedly aswell. What do you do when everything you do seems to hurt someone and one of the last things you wanna do is hurt them...? I'm so lost. I don't wanna lose an awesome friend over this...I won't let myself! But what do I do.

If you think that everything's unfair..would you care? If you're the last one standing there...and everytime you hear the rolling thunder..you turn around before the lightning strikes. And does it ever make you stop and wonder, if all your good times pass you by??

Good Is Good - Sheryl Crow..also an amazing song. But ya...since you all know what songs are expressing my mood now, maybe you can slightly understand where I'm coming from. It feels like so many things are just unfinished..that so much is up in the air, but at the same time part of me doesn't care...there's something missing and I can't figure it out. I'll figure it out soon enough though...I know it. Something's waiting for me and I just need to find it. Looks like I've got my house to myself or just to me and Sam this weekend, I plan on doing some soul searching and having some good times. Maybe things will be better by monday.

That's all for now, if you have any insight please let me know..

Chaos...

Things have been rather crazy lately...

To start off with, I've been working full time at my new job which I'm really enjoying. The work is pretty dull but the girls I work with are amazing. I love them so much! haha they make my day. Work's also rather good scoping grounds for attractive older men....the other girls have all decided that since I'm the only single one out of our little group, they must hook me up with someone before training is over lol There's a couple guys in our class that are pretty cute but one smokes and one smokes weed. There's this other guy though that seems really nice...he's just a bit older and I don't know him much yet. Then they're our co-facilitator...hahaha "his butt looks good in those jeans" oh Sarah how I love thee lol. We enjoy our assistant teacher greatly...it gives us great sadness that he's not available. He's so sweet, holds doors open for us and such. Our teacher is hillarious, he likes to dance...like the Backstreet Boys..and do the Macarana. Krista and I have to do "I'm A Little TeaPot" at the end of the week cause we forgot to lock our computers when we went to break. Maybe we'll get away with the YMCA. Last friday like 7 of them had to do the Macarana. We were informed today that our teacher looks just like The 40 Year Old Virgin but with a goatee and the class next door adjusted a poster to display this. It kept us laughing for the better part of the day.

As for YL...things have been...hecktic. Club was kinda crazy last week, hopefully things are a little calmer this week but it's our Halloween Club so I highly doubt it. Things between the leaders seem rather drama full and I'm smack dab in the middle of it! I dunno...I hope things are ok...I really hope someone's not mad at me. I feel so bad for what I did but I can't go back in time and change it. I can just move on and try to make better decisions next time.

Guys...now isn't that a fun topic ladies? This is going to be my little rant for the day. Why is it that the guys you are interested in are never interested in you (atleast at the same time) and the guys that are interested in you are ones you're not interested in? Is it like Karma coming back to bite me in the ass or what...? There's one guy that I've developed an interest in but I don't see that going anywhere and I really wish it would. For once I like a guy that's not horrible for me...he's got good morals, similar interests...he doesn't drink, do drugs or smoke and he's a christian..but of course he's taken. Betcha guessed that one hey? Anyways...my knee's killing me again I'll write some more later, buh bye for now.

I'm so happy, feelin' snappy...my life is rosey, I'm feelin' comfy cozy!

I just can't believe how certain people who once had their feet on the ground and a level head are completely ruining their lives...they've thrown away everything they ever believe in or cared about and have given up on their lives. I really feel as though I have "grown out"of quite a few of my friends as someone explained it to me. I've changed a lot over the past while and I believe that I have grown up. Some people really haven't...and others seem to have gone backwords! Crazy huh? lol this doesn't exactly upset me...it's just something I've realized. I've felt a little lonely lately because of it but I feel great now. I've met some new, awesome people who really understand seem to understand who I am and actually have fairly similar morals and expectations. It's great :) I turn 19 in under two months and I'm so excited. It still seems like a bit of a long time but being the last one is actually kinda cool...by time my birthday comes around all of my friends will be 19 and we can all go out and have a good time together.

Tonight is the first YL Club of the year, it's kinda nerve racking because we don't know how many kids, if any are actually going to show up...we've still got some kinks to work out when it comes to skits/part.skits/music, etc. Everyone that's doing music is going early to practice so I think I'll go too and just chill for a bit, hangout with everyone. Andrea and I still need to go out and get the stuff for our part. skit but that shouldn't take too long. Oh by the way, for anyone reading this it's Andrea's birthday today so say Happy Birthday to her!

Liquidation World just got in a whole bunch of Prom Dresses so we're all going to go up there today and scope them out, maybe get some to play in lol You can never have too many pretty dresses! Especially when they're only twenty dollars. Anyways, I should probably get going, gotta put my face on and get some stuff together so that I don't forget anything. Talk to you guys later, buh bye. And comment damn you! lol

I'm so happy, feelin' snappy...my life is rosey, I'm feelin' comfy cozy!

If you've never heard of Hokus Pick, you should! They're so happy...by the way, that song's called I'm So Happy. It's rather hard to find their songs online but their CD's are great.

The Hooligans And Their Shinanigans!

Lastnight was kinda crazy! It was pretty awesome though. Erin came up from Victoria so we decided that we all had to go out and do something. After eating turkey dinner, we played a few games of Dominos and then Alex and Chelsea showed up. Eventually we got our asses out of the house and went and met Erin and Phil at the bowling alley. The guys and I partaked in the awesomeness that is 10 pin bowling while Chelsea and Crysta watched. Erin and I lost horribly..but we enjoyed ourselves. I had by far the best shot of the night...it happened to involve me going to throw the ball and it going flying behind me, almost hitting Phil and rolling all the way across the room. Good times. After bowling we headed over to the Pool Hall where we enjoyed some good ol' billiards. There were a few instances that won't be mentioned and then we headed on out. Erin, Phil and I detoured to Timmy's where we got some food and then they proceeded to drag me into the porn store in an attempt to see someone that apparently works there. We didn't stay long because apparently the nudity was overwhealming...Phil was just disappointed that it didn't bother me. It was nasty but I didn't give him the satisfaction lol. We drove over to my house where we found Crysta, Shawn, Alex and Chelsea. Erin put South Park, Bigger, Longer and Uncut in the DVD player cause he'd never seen it before and we all enjoyed an hour an a half of pure genius. Of course, Phil and I had to sing along to every song just to make the viewing experience that much more enjoyable for the other viewers lol Erin and Phil went home at 1am, Chelsea and Alex sometime after that and then Shawn a while later. Needless to say, I didn't get so much sleep lastnight. That would be why I am now going to head off to bed and hope to god that they don't all show up here anytime soon cause I may kill something. Anyways, peace out dawg, I'll see you in the am.

Failure

I'm not too sure what to say in here but I thought that it was about time to update. I got a job on Wednesday, I start at NCO doing training to become an account activator on the 17th at 5am. Woot! So ya, that's $9 an hour + bonus' and benefits after 6 months. Lastnight was the KGB run for YL and it went really well. I didn't get to see a any of it though...I got to sit at the end point and wait for everyone, then I got to cleanup after they left. I had a fairly decent evening anyways...until I got home. Then, I kinda had a bit of an emotional breakdown. There's been a lot of things going on, Jason has Malaria, Tyler looks like he's dying...people I care about are doing really stupid things. I've been so busy and so focused on making sure that the KGB went well and that everything for YL is ok that I keep forgetting to do things that my mom asks me to do and then she gets mad at me. They're not really things that I should be having to do anyways but it's the point. I just keep feeling like I'm failing at everything and that everyone's disappointed in me. What am I doing wrong? My thoughts and feelings really aren't where they should be right now and I'm actually getting kinda depressed again. I don't know what's wrong with me :( Anyways...I should probably get going, I'll update again soon and call me if you wanna do anything. Buh bye

So Pimpin'

Rockridge was awesome! Yes I know I've been home for a couple of days and haven't posted anything, but...I've been lazy lol. Not to say that I'm not lazy now...I'm just bored. I got kinda sick when we were at Rockridge but it's all good, I still had a really good time. So much eye candy. Mmm mmm good. I also learnt a lot and I really feel as though it helped me to grow as a person. I was able to sort out a lot of my thoughts and just take some me time. There's not really much else new with me. My parents bought a new car, it's totally pimpin' oh and I mean pimpin'. You'll all have to come and see it. I have a job interview thingy tomorrow morning at NCO. I'm actually kinda excited about it since I didn't even apply! haha Sasha, one of the other YL leaders is working there and she recomended me so I got a phone call yesterday asking if I'd be interested. It pays $9 an hour, full time...plus benefits after 6 months. Not too shabby. Plus I wouldn't be trying to sell stuff, I'd just be answering calls from businesses and entering in activation information. I have to brush up on my typing though cause there's a little test I have to take before the interview. Well I should go do that now, gunna load Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing on my computer and get going so I'll talk to ya'll lata, buh bye.