All Nighter Awesomeness and Emotional Confusion

The All Nighter was lastnight and it rocked! Full Circle was AMAZING in the Port Theatre...400 people all there for the same cause, singing some of the most moving and inspiring songs....songs that on occasion bring me to tears. Especially Everything by Lifehouse...there's just something about that song that gets me everytime. Andrea, Caley and Jesslyn arrived in the middle of that song and I was on the verge of tears. It's just so beautiful and seeing so many people sing it straight from their hearts was an incredible feeling. I know that sounds really sappy but it's the truth and I created this blog so that I could express my feelings without being criticized for anything so I hope you all understand.

Anyways...the rest of the night was really awesome too, started with a gym riot where Andrea and I killed our arms doing the ameoba (sp?) game lol first round we tried to get Nathan and Denis appart...failed horribly, second round was all the leaders and we got Jason out right away but Alastair was more difficult. We did succeed however with help from Becca and one or two other female leaders. Paster Scott ended up bleeding lol I dunno how that happened but he was ok.

After the gym riot we headed over to Cyber City where we went GO KARTING! It was my first time and it was awesome. I didn't use the brakes on any corners lol it was so sweet. I did really well in the first round but then I got bashed out of the way in the face and ended up in the back. Andrea tried to slow down to bash me but I passed her and she was mad lol. I was proud of myself for not being in last place, Alastair won and he got a free bag of chips!

From there we headed to the skating rink where we ate some food, got something to drink and then went skating for a little while. Jason fell and hurt his ankle pretty badly which was sad because he couldn't skate anymore. There was a live band on the ice which included Paul who played with the moffits, the hot drummer from church and the hot guitarist who also played at church. The played I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor and Andrea and I sang along, quite wonderfully I might add.

Once skating was over, we removed our skates and headed back to the bus. We then went on to the aquadic centre where we swam and stalked certain hot guys lol Jesslyn and Sam had their "Pants" and "Hawk" and we all enjoyed "Yellow Man" greatly haha. We did find out their names by the end of the night, although I only remember one. Andrea and I spent some time talking while laying in the sauna all alone until the door was opened and Denis and Nathan decided to interupt us. That was ok though, we didn't mind too much. Too bad those other people had to come in too...anyways, much fun was had goofing around, Nathan and I raced down the waterslides but mine sucked and he beat me.

We moved on to Maranatha Church after swimming and we proceeded to watch Napoleon Dynamite on a very large screen...I was in a pretty bad mood when we got there...I had so much going on in my head that I walked out of the room and went and sat on some stairs and just cried for about 20 minutes before anyone found me. Andrea sat and talked to me for a little while and I told her everything that was bothering me. Certain people I miss, certain things that I miss and certain events that I keep flashing back to. I just keep getting these random flashbacks of things from the past where I actually see pictures of what happened in my head. They're not exactly happy things either and everytime it happens all I wanna do is cry. Once I was calmed down, we went back into the other room and Andrea, Sam and I layed on the floor which was extremely cold, I fell asleep for a little while but woke up completely frozen to Andrea.

We had to call Andrea's step dad to come and pick us up cause her car was at the Port Theatre, along with Jason's. So, the 5 of us (Andrea's step dad, Andrea, Jason, Me and Sam) headed downtown. Jason headed back to Port, Andrea got in her car and her step dad drove Sam and I home. I slept until about 1 and then I woke up. I played some video games and here I am, sitting on my computer. Well this has been way longer than expected so I'm going to stop, talk to all of you later, bye bye.

So Many Tests...& Not The Ones I'm Good At...

Well..I went to the Oral Surgeon this morning and I have an appointment for April 6th..woot. Then I went to my work with my mom and we bought 2 cell phones, one for me and one for her and my sister to share. My boss had the new schedule up and I had been scheduled for Monday so I asked her if there was any way that someone else might be able to work that shift cause she had told me that I'd be able to have it off. She said ok, that she'd figure something out and then we left. She seemed kinda mad or something after that and I hope she wasn't mad at me.

So ya, after that we went and got the phones activated and then went home. Then, I went out for lunch with my mom and sister and then they dropped me off for my other Dr's appointment. I got a prescription for my sinus' and I have to get them x-rayed in about 3 weeks after I get my wisdom teeth out. I then had to get some blood tests done and I have to have more done of tuesday...they're testing me for Mono, diabeties, thyroid, HIV and Aids...they're basically just precautions but it still kinda worries me. I had to go to the appointment and blood test by myself cause my mom had to go to Comox and my dad couldn't get out of work in time.

After getting the blood tests I called Tasha and then my dad picked me up. Since then I've been sitting at home by myself not really doing anything. Talked to Sam on the phone for a bit till I my phone started dying. I'm waiting for Tasha to call me back and for my dad to get home so that we can figure out what we're going to do about dinner.

The Full Circle All Nighter is this Sunday night which I'm totally stoked about! It's going to be awesome!! Hopefully my boss isn't mad that I had to remind her about having the Monday off...and hopefully she'll be able to cover that shift...I feel really bad! Hmm well I should probably go, Tasha called me and she'll be over in a little while. Talk to ya'll later. Bye!

I never had a dream come true...till the day that I found you.

A Beautiful Song...and it just so happens to be a perfect expression about how I feel right now...Andrea, you know what this some means to me, for those who don't...read it you'll probably be able to figure it out, if not I can tell you later or something....

Never Had A Dream Come True

Everybody's got something
They had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday
That just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Til the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
And so my road can never be
'Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Til the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will, oh baby
You'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and tryI just can't say goodbye
No no no no

I've never had a dream come true
Til the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
A part of me will always be...
With you

I've never found a song that I could relate to more than this song...I've loved it for years and it's meant the same thing too me for just as long. I've been listening to it practically on repeat for a while, and it makes me wanna cry. I should probably change the song since I have to go to work in an hour...So ya, I'm gunna do that and finish getting ready. I love you all...please comment, ttyl bye bye.

Losing Grip.

Well this is my first entry in this blog, I felt the need to create a new blog because well....there was a lot of people reading my other one that I no longer wanted reading it. My level of trust in certain people has greatly declined and for good reason. So, if you are one of the priveledged few that I have given this address to, congradulations. I haven't been in the greatest of moods for a few days now. I feel like the entire world is slipping away from me and I don't know what to do. I'm losing everyone, and I don't really feel that close to anyone right now. Everything has changed so quickly and I don't even know what caused it. I could really use taking a nap, but when I wake up, all the problems will still be there. Maybe I'm just overly tired or maybe things really are as bad as they feel.

My heart feels as though it has been split into two and will never be repaired again. I sit alone, thinking about the way things used to be and about someone that I miss horribly, and then a song comes on and my thoughts travel to someone else that I also miss greatly. How can people just cut themselves from your life so easily without feeling any pain...or atleast showing it. Have I really affected anyone's life...to me it doesn't seem so. The people that I care so deeply about and would do anything for, seem to find it so easy to just leave me behind. Say, "have a nice life" and never turn back.

I could never turn my back on someone the way that certain people have turned their backs on me. Maybe I'm just different...maybe I'm just really easy to forget about. Who knows. Anyways...this isn't really improving my mood a whole lot so I'm going to go lay down and try to relax.