Losing Grip.

Well this is my first entry in this blog, I felt the need to create a new blog because well....there was a lot of people reading my other one that I no longer wanted reading it. My level of trust in certain people has greatly declined and for good reason. So, if you are one of the priveledged few that I have given this address to, congradulations. I haven't been in the greatest of moods for a few days now. I feel like the entire world is slipping away from me and I don't know what to do. I'm losing everyone, and I don't really feel that close to anyone right now. Everything has changed so quickly and I don't even know what caused it. I could really use taking a nap, but when I wake up, all the problems will still be there. Maybe I'm just overly tired or maybe things really are as bad as they feel.

My heart feels as though it has been split into two and will never be repaired again. I sit alone, thinking about the way things used to be and about someone that I miss horribly, and then a song comes on and my thoughts travel to someone else that I also miss greatly. How can people just cut themselves from your life so easily without feeling any pain...or atleast showing it. Have I really affected anyone's life...to me it doesn't seem so. The people that I care so deeply about and would do anything for, seem to find it so easy to just leave me behind. Say, "have a nice life" and never turn back.

I could never turn my back on someone the way that certain people have turned their backs on me. Maybe I'm just different...maybe I'm just really easy to forget about. Who knows. Anyways...this isn't really improving my mood a whole lot so I'm going to go lay down and try to relax.