More depressed than I thought.

Well this fucking sucks. I'm sick, I'm depressed, I'm lonely, and yes I want to complain right now.

I went to work yesterday...well I actually went early to do some shopping, felt fine..went to work..about an hour into my shift I started getting really hot and my chest started hurting. I walked into the backroom and went to say something to Cara and nothing came out..I couldn't breath and I burst into tears. So she got me to sit down and ran and got Nadine (my boss) who felt my forehead and freaked out and insisted on taking me to the hospital. So I called my mom and we picked her up and Nadine dropped my mom and I off at the hospital. The nurses took 15 fucking minutes to discuss what time they were taking their lunch breaks at while I sat there in severe pain not being able to break. About like an hour later I finally got to see a doctor who then ordered blood test and chest xrays. About another 3 hours later the results finally came back and the doctor told me that the joints in my chest..that connect the rib cage to the breast bone are inflamed and so every time I breath my lungs are rubbing up against the bones like sandpaper on sandpaper. Which explains the severe pain in my chest everytime I breath. There may also be an infection in my chest left over from the pneumonia but he didn't want to put me on antibiotics yet and told me to see my doctor if it doesn't get better. Yay for crappy hospital service.

So on top of feeling like shit I've also been feeling rather depressed and lonely lately. My friends don't come around, they barely ever answer their phones, they NEVER call me. I was finally getting back to work and being able to see people and now I'm sick again. I'm not contageous but everyone seems to act like I have the plague. I'm supposed to be moving out this week, not sure when that's going to happen. I'm also supposed to be going to Holly's wedding on saturday but suddenly have no way to get to Victoria. Half the time I just feel like I'm going crazy, I wonder if my friend really care about me at all or if they just pretend to once in a while to appease me. Do they really think of me as a friend or am I just some annoying person who likes to tag along all the time. It just really seems like noone's ever willing to put effort into our friendships and I always find myself doing all the work...is it because you just don't want to be friends and feel obligated or what? Cause pretend friendships don't help.

Well now that I'm really depressed and on the verge of tears I'm just going to leave. Maybe have a nap or something, who knows.

PS. The Black Eyed Peas concert was basically a waste of money and Fergie looked like a crack whore. Swollen Members and the last 20 minutes of BEP were the only part worth seeing. Rihanna should...like die or maybe ACTUALLY sing her own songs..not lipsink and dance like a skank.