You Watch Me Find My Own Insanity...

I guarantee that you have never seen me as angry or upset as I was yesterday but I guess that I just had to hit rock bottom before I could begin to get better. I'm sure that I never want to fall that low ever again however. I really need to just get away for a little while, even a day or something..have someone take my attention away from everything going on. I would welcome a kidnapping at this point. Life's changing so much and I'm not so sure that I'm ready for some of those changes. Tasha if you're reading this..please give me a call when you get a few free moments cause I'm pretty sure you're one of the only people who will understand what I've been going through lately and I could really use someone to talk to.

Anyways...I haven't really done anything lately, I've worked a bit...hungout with Shayna, Colin, Brook and Jordan on wednesday which was sweet. We had some good times. Then there was ice blocking at Bowen with Young Life on thursday which went extremely well considering it was pouring rain. We all got completely soaking wet and my brand new yellow shirt got dyed pink from the pink one I had on top. Umm I got to take all the pictures because I wasn't prepared to reinjure my foot which is FINALLY starting to feel a little bit better. I'm kinda really glad that it was the last club of the year cause I'm too burnt out to continue. I was so close to snapping like 3/4 of the kid's little necks, they were just driving me freaking nuts and I wanted to leave so badly. Then after ice blocking was over we had to drive everyone home which required Scott to come and pick people up and drive them which ended up being pretty cool cause he bought all 8 of us in his van hot chocolate haha and then I had to go back to the YL portable to help fix the couches that we broke during the year. Of course certain people did fuck all as usual and I wanted to scream. I can't stand it when people are working their asses off and a few people are just standing around doing nothing, goofing around and making it harder for those working to work. Drives me fucking nuts.

So that's all my ranting for today...if I had written this yesterday like I was going to it would have been much much much angrier and angsty so be glad that I decided to shut myself in my bedroom all day instead.

If you wreck my day, if you wreck my day,
You son of a bitch you're gunna get some!
I'm tired of this stupid game,
running in circle from you again.
Don't blame me for what I've gotta do
I won't hate myself to be loved by you!

Don't push me, don't play me,
or you'll be sorry...am I getting through!?
I won't back down, as of right now
I won't hate myself to be loved by you!

See me cry
See me smile
See me fall
See me cry!

I'm tired of this stupid game,
running in circle from you again.
Don't blame me for what I've gotta do
I won't hate myself to be loved by you!