Emolicious

I'm feeling emo and unhappy and trying really hard not to rage on my family. I forgot how much I dislike the combination of my family and holidays. It's like we get 10x as disfunctional around special times of the year (aka Christmas). Certain members get greedy and selfish, other's get "stressed", most get depressed, others get bitter and angry...and there's only really 4 of us so that says a lot. I'm trying my hardest to be positive and in a good mood but it's so hard when all I wanna do is scream at them.

They decided that we all needed to open a present tonight (my sister's decision cause she can't friggen wait) and so they FORCE me to open one even though I didn't really want to. So, I open it and it's Settlers, my favorite game ever and my mom tells me that it's the present I'll probably be the most excited about so now that's over with. I got really excited about it and wanted to play but every member of my family refuses...so what good's a game that noone will play with you? Anyways...so now my dad and Shawn are playing their racing game that my mom got them and Crysta's playing with her fucking playdough.

Ok so as for the rest of the week/day, my sister's been throwing temper tantroms about pretty much anything humanly possible. Mostly lack of traditions, my mom being around, my grandparents being dead...and so my mom was off today and they were gunna do a bunch of baking like we used to and my sister took off and didn't come home till like 6pm so my mom was pissed off all day and raging about that. My dad's been in a miserable mood for the past week cause he hurt his back.......and all I've wanted to do is crawl into bed and sleep for a very very long time. I still don't feel well, totally wacked out and I have absolutely no energy. My knees hurt like FUCK and there's nothing I can do about it. All I can do is sit back and listen to everyone in my family bitch and rage and keep my mouth shut. I don't wanna create more conflict so I'm trying to stay quiet and it's eating me up inside!

I am so glad that I'm going out of town for New Years Eve...going to be with friends and away from family and all the drama around here. It's the only thing I'm really looking forward to right now. Isn't that sad? I'm not even looking forward to Christmas! I asked my mom today if she's coming to my Oma's today and I got "Hell....God no!" lovely...just lovely...needless to say I've been retreating to my bedroom a lot the past few days.

Well that's my lovely rant lol about how much I love Christmas...just not it combined with my family. Well hopefully tomorrow's better, if not you'll be hearing about it!