I Can't Help You Fix Yourself, But Atleast I Can Say I Tried.

I can't help you fix yourself, but atleast I can say I tried. I'm sorry but I gotta go on with my own life! I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut. My weakness is that I care too much. The scars remind us that the past is real, I tear my heart open just to feal.

Fuck. Why can't people just grow the fuck up. That's basically all this blog entry is here to talk about. Today, I went to work. Then I came home. Then Andrea picked me up for YL. Everything went really well until the end. Alex and Chelsea showed up and Andrea completely bailed. I know that you're reading this hun, but ya did. Alastair and I ended up getting the entire portable back into order while Jason carried the tarp and such out to the cars. We then headed to McDonalds where I was in a really bad mood and just sat a ways away and let people come sit with me if they wished. Alex looked at me, then walked away, I received a few glares from Chelsea and then they basically completely ignored my existance. Jason and Jason came over and sat with me for quite a while and then Josh came over and was like "ooh let's keep Janelle company!" and I just said "Since when do you want to keep me company?" and his response was "Hey, you're a chick, you've got two legs, why not?" I wanted to slap him. Then, everyone decided to go off to the fair, I was not invited, nor was I wanted...So, even when Jason tried to convince me to go, I said no. I went outside and phoned home to get a ride and ended up sitting on the sidewalk, in the grass, crying. I'm so sick of people...I'm sick of the immaturity of people and the thoughtlessness. I'm sick of people taking on responsibilities and not fullfilling them. I'm sick of watching people who are supposed to be being good roll models, doing the complete opposite and making huge mistakes and not even caring. I'm sick of always being expected to appologize when I did nothing wrong, or not having my appology accepted when I try to give it for something stupid that was said. I'm sick of people not being able to let the past go and forgive, I'm sick of people preaching forgiveness, only to not be able to forgive themselves. I'm sick of retarded teenage relationships that are unhealthy and are meaningless and watching my "friends" suffer through them thinking that they're normal.

I say "friends" because I don't know what that word means right now.